Phoenix got LASIK this week and was bombarded with quotations about it. Instead of just reading you information and actual facts on the subject, he decided to just share his experience with the ENTIRE process. Lasers are assholes and shouldn't be feared. Secretaries are bitches. The title of this episode isn't serious so don't think it's a reflection of anything that actually happened. If you have any questions for Phoenix, send them to loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com