In this episode, Phoenix talks about the money making gift of being able to see if someone will die soon. Not in war though, it's useless in war. He also goes in depth on a scenario about choosing which soldiers should go, seeing which ones will die, taking them out and then seeing which ones will die because of that.... and the endless cycle of choosing the perfect war team would be. He also discusses this episode of The Twilight Zone.
268 - LIW The Twilight Zone Review - 18 - The Last Flight (TZ 118)
This is the only lost episode in the LIW catalogue. Not sure what happened but it's ironic that in this TZ episode about time travel and being lost in the clouds, the episode got lost and Frank and Phoenix had to go back in time to record a past episode to replace it. Phoenix liked this episode a lot more the second time around and Frank says it's in his top 10 episode list which if you're an astute listener, Frank now has 40 episodes in his top 10 and Phoenix has 3. Anyway, enjoy this episode that is being inserted as if it were the original. We're just ignoring the discrepancy from here out.
Original show notes if you're curious:
(In this episode, Phoenix is baffled by the nonsense version of time travel this episode attempts to pass off. He also goes off on how the Major in this episode was amazed at "white clouds" and how he thought that was specific enough to warrant a miracle. Good episode though. Not amazing. Good TZ "crazy man that nobody believes" stuff here.)
267 - American't 6 - Customer Service
In this episode, you will learn the value of providing excellent customer service to your shitty customers. Congratulations on working for LIW. You will watch this lost 1986 training video on customer service from Loitering In Wonderland and you will learn from it. You will witness examples of both good and bad customer service. See if you can tell the difference. DING EXTRAPICKLES HONK IWOULDLIKETORETURNTHISITEM GOFUCKYOURSELF DING ISYOURMANAGERHERE? THEYAREONTOYOU PICKLES THECUSTOMERISALWAYSRIGHT KILLTHEMALL DING DING DING HONK SLAUGHTERTHECUSTOMER HONK DING DING DINGSALANOIEPAOIRANLAKRAOIDK.ZX.ASOBOPIWRAOIAL2I2022$##%NSIOIWOIEE*
266 - B-Movie Battle! 1 - Puppetmaster X Axis Rising (2012) vs. Hired To Kill (1990)
Welcome to the pilot episode of B-Movie Battle! (Formerly Shitty Movie Showdown!) What began as a simple American't episode turned into something else. Watch as Phoenix West and Brent Puccio are forced into watching and comparing Puppet Master X: Axis Rising (2012) and Copyright Infringement (1990) before deciding the shittiest. Which will win/lose/whatever?
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265 - LIW The Twilight Zone Review - 17 - The Fever (TZ 117)
Phoenix said this was the most fun he had recording an episode. He got to do his Daniel Day Lewis from There Will Be Blood impression and then yell at an imaginary wife while pretending to be a drug addict. This episode was sober too. Figure that out..
264 - LIW The Twilight Zone Review - 16 - The Hitch-Hiker (TZ 116)
This episode is an urban legend. That's about it. Have you heard the urban legend about the hitch-hiker that turned out to be death, trying to warn the girl that she died? Yes? Then you have seen this episode already. If not, spoiler alert back there. Phoenix likes the way this episode was done though so it made up for lack of story. He isn't impossible to please (Filipino lady-boys will attest to that).
263 - B-Movie Battle! 13 - Nic Cage Cast - 3 - Trapped In Paradise (1994)
Nic Cage Cast - Episode 3 - Trapped In Paradise (1994)
The internet chose Trapped In Paradise as the next Nic Cage movie for Phoenix to watch. A movie starring three legends of SNL: Dana Carvey, Jon Lovitz and... Nic Cage. In this review, he reflects back on how he used to enjoy the movie as a child, somehow. He discusses the plot in an out of order fashion because this movie has almost no plot other than having to leave town. Oh, and this movie has the sensitivity of an Adam Sandler movie toward the mentally challenged. What kind of Cage is in this film? Find out by watching the episode, obviously.
262 - LIW The Walking Dead Review - 54 - Fear The Walking Dead - 207 - Shiva
The mid-season finale is here. Whatever the hell that is. Nick is a scary blood covered psychopath. Daniel is a voice-hearing psychopath. Celia is a zombie-alive-keeper psychopath. Travis is a psychopath deny-er. Chris is just a psychopath. Will he finally become a villain like Phoenix wants? Maybe. The answer is maybe.
261 - LIW The Walking Dead Review - 53 - Fear The Walking Dead - 206 - Sicut Cervus
This episode is a couple months delayed. Sorry. In this episode, Phoenix talks about the psychopath growing inside Chris, Nick having to kill a bunch of kids, Daniel losing his goddamn mind and the dangers of repeating plot points of The Walking Dead....I mean, we're finally off the boat but now we're on a farm where they keep zombies locked up in a shed. Sound familiar? At least nobody is pregnant. Unless you consider Chris being pregnant with insanity. Sooner or later the water will break and a newborn baby psychopath will be loose. Did that make sense? Oh well.
259 - LIW American Horror Story Review - 11 - Battle Royale (511)
In this episode Phoenix talks about how fucked up Sally truly is. How her hanging out in what can be lovingly referred to as "the body room" reminded him of the trash room he had in college. He also talks about Lady Gaga's neon lights, the weird D&D / rock-paper-scissors math of the battle between humans, vampires, ghosts and witches and then he talks about the paperwork involved in rushing Donovan's cremation for Iris and if it was an abuse of power on Liz's part to do so.
260 - LIW American Horror Story Review - 12 - Be Our Guest (512)
The season is over. We are all free from the hotel. Rejoice. Tell your children what happened here. How a show that had 7 consecutive shitty episodes ended up having 5 straight good ones and somehow people were tricked into watching a 6th season. In this episode Phoenix plays more Nada Surf Popular and John Lowe talking so you really can hear how he sounds just like him. He also talks about the episode he watched. Afterward, he guesses what the next season will be while listing which actors he hopes returns to what type of role. None of which will come true because this show is like an abusive boyfriend. It hits you a lot but sure...it's out of love. It's not a bad guy. It's trying. It's going to get a job soon. Well, soonish. I mean, you didn't lose the baby weight like you promised but whatever. It's working on it and it's complicated alright? Back off. *Smack* Why do you make me do this to you? Keep watching.
258 - LIW American Horror Story Review - 10 - She Gets Revenge (510)
She done got it. Revenge that is. Whoever SHE is. Revenge was apparently gotten. Anyway, the third good episode in a row! A new season 5 record! Lady Gaga can't act like a grieving widow to save her vampire life or economic status. Those goddamn vampire bastard kids finally get what they deserve. Iris and Liz are amazing as The Boondocks Saints. Liz also has a really sweet scene with her son that Phoenix genuinely was moved by. He takes no shame in admitting that.
256 - LIW American Horror Story Review - 8 - The Ten Commandments Killer (508)
This episode is great. No sarcasm there. This episode tells a solid story that doesn't get bogged down with pointless side characters or super long sex scenes with white people. I mean, there is still white-on-white sex but it's minimal. This episode explains SO MUCH that it actually made Phoenix like John Lowe's character and is a crucial turning point in the season. Phoenix took a 7 month break from the show 1 episode before it got awesome. Who would have known?
257 - LIW American Horror Story Review - 9 - She Wants Revenge (509)
She gonna get it! In this episode, Phoenix is glad the show stuck with the "not shitty" motif of episode 508. It's definitely a theme the show should fully adapt. This episode is full of double crossings and possible suspects for females wanting revenge. Does the title refer to Countess, Liz, Iris, Alex or Natacha? We will never know. Until the next episode, probably.
254 - LIW American Horror Story Review - 6 - Room 33 (506)
I know. It's been 7 months since the last review. It's because this season is terrible. Phoenix watched 506 and 507 when they originally aired but couldn't bring himself to review the show. But he also didn't want to cancel this review show. So, he decided to finally record. Anyway, this episode is terrible because it's about a baby that doesn't matter in the slightest. It focuses too much on the terrible characters (Alex, Bartholomew, John, Ramona, Swedish girls) and not enough on the great ones (Liz, Tristan, March, Sally, Iris). Plus, John and Alex's daughter is going to have some severe abandonment issues later in life.
255 - LIW American Horror Story Review - 7 - Flicker (507)
This episode is terrible. Great ideas but terrible writing. The 20's scenes are directed really well and the wall idea is great. EVERYTHING else is terrible. Who cares about the random little girl in the hospital? Who cares about the ten commandments killer at this point? Does any of it matter? Will any of it get resolved? This episodes introduces MORE characters that will not have any point later in the season.
253 - B-Movie Battle! 12 - Nic Cage Cast - 2 - Ghost Rider Spirit Of Vengeance (2011)
Now, let's be clear. Phoenix is NOT reviewing the movies but instead reviewing Nic Cage's performance in the movies. Also, this is a video show. This podcast is the audio track only so for the full experience click here: Loitering In Wonderland YouTube page.
Phoenix watched Ghost Rider: Spirit Of Vengeance because a website randomly generated it as the next movie despite Phoenix not remembering the first Ghost Rider 'film'. With the use of clips from the movie, Phoenix will tell you exactly why this movie didn't work. Lack of movie enjoyment did not alleviate the swelling in his Cagerection. Now I really wish we titled this show "Cagerection." Is it too late to change it?
252 - B-Movie Battle! 11 - Nic Cage Cast - 1 - The Trust (2016)
Welcome to the first episode of Nic Cage Cast. Now, let's be clear. Phoenix is NOT reviewing the movies but instead reviewing Nic Cage's performance in the movies. Also, this is a video show. This podcast is the audio track only so for the full experience click here: Loitering In Wonderland YouTube page.
In this episode, Phoenix West watched the newest Nic Cage movie. 2016's The Trust, starring Nic Cage and Elijah Wood. Plus Jerry Lewis for some reason. Phoenix will explain exactly what kind of Nic Cage movie this is based on 3 options: 1. Rage Cage, 2. Quirk Cage, 3. Quiet Cage. This show contains spoilers.
251 - TINM! - 61 - "I Don't Speak Scorpionese I'm Not From Scorpiovania"
In this episode, Phoenix talks about his 32nd birthday celebration which started with a Millencolin concert, continued with staying 3 or 4 days in a bug infested cabin in the woods/desert and ended with a Local H concert in which he bought a racist shirt. He also quickly talks about Captain America Civil War, kinda. Then tells a story about almost getting in a redneck fight at a bar recently. He wraps up with Shitty Movie Showdown! information.
Watch American't and share with your friends and optometrist.
250 - American't - 17 - Phoenix West Unboxes The GoPro Hero4 Silver
Is this what it takes to get views? Unboxing shit? Whatever. Phoenix West needed a GoPro for the upcoming show Shitty Movie Showdown! so he bought and unopened a GoPro Hero4 Silver. I think that's the whole title of the camera. Spoiler alert: the box contained a camera and some random accessories. That was it. There weren't any surprises other than how sexy one of the pieces was.
This videos says SMS!+ because the original plan was to do a behind the scenes of SMS! (now BMB!) but now it's all under the same umbrella of LIW+ which is the behind the scenes of all of our shows.